The Other Side
by aquickdisguise
Summary: Nothing to do with the Red Hot Chilli song. Stemmed from a Oneshot, It's All Over. Earth's been destroyed, and Dib's the only survior... but then the Tallest start spouting some ridculous theories and some startling discoveries are made. OC alert
1. The Fugitive

Howdy all.

Continuation of It's All Over- it didn;t take me too long to decide I wanted to continue, particularly as the plotbunny bouncing in my head decided to expand itself. So here we go...

**Disclaimer**: Invader Zim characters/places and suchlike are property of Mighty Mr Vasquez- and Nick grumbles

* * *

Jen leapt sideways into the cockpit, letting the automatic straps of the Voot cruiser buckle themselves around her petite frame. Her fiery red hair barely reached her chin, and the few strands that constituted as a fringe constantly fell in front of her eyes; she found herself blowing them out of her face absently as she entered the start code. The cruiser jogged into life, and then, with a final, almighty boom, it shot into the air.

Her brows furrowed in concentration. If she could escape the Massive now, she might still have time to return to her home planet before the Tallest had their way with it.

Ahead, the security gates crackled into life. Blue sparks flickered into being, before huge electrical currents breached the gap of the large rectangular hangar's exit.

Jen's eyes widened and she jerked the cruiser's controls towards her, pulling the craft upwards. It veered dangerously close to the vertical wall as she sped upwards, her eyes scanning the hangar for other escape routes. She knew that all Irken technology and DNA would be allowed to pass through the electrical currents that barred the exit, but her genetics would be rejected and she would be fried.

She saw what she needed in the top right hand corner of the room. She grasped the external drive control from the dashboard of the cruiser and clamped it to her wrist, where tentacles of wire and pulsating lights fused up her arm. She let out a gasp of pain as the control fastened itself to her arm. The cruiser was well and truly hers now. She popped the lid and hauled herself out of the craft. She balanced precariously on the bow and reached over to the wall, where a tiny niche indicated a waste chute. Her stolen invader's uniform would protect her from the downright freaky gravitational pulls in Space, but she was nervous none the less. She had piloted her fair share of crafts, but never floated in freefall.

A loud bang behind her and an Irken snarl told her she was no longer alone.

"There she is! The useless PAKless _MUTANT!_"

Jen wasted no more time listening into their conversation. Hitting a few choice commands on her control pad, she darted through the waste niche, sliding down on her hip and elbow and exiting the chute with a leap. She immediately lost momentum. The immediate atmosphere of the Massive held her in an almost-stasis: yet another Irken security measure. It was by far easier to get into the Massive than to get out.

Her ship zoomed out of the exit unharmed, and approached her. She remote-accessed the lid, and pulled herself into the cockpit, where her natural movement returned. She fired up the engines once more, and then floored the vehicle into hyperdrive. She'd need all her piloting skills to get past the royal guard.

She settled back in the seat. It moulded itself around her frame, analysing the contours of her back and shoulders, and then formed itself to provide maximum comfort, while ensuring her posture stayed immaculate and that she was in comfortable reach of the controls. She let a grim smile play on her lips. Irken tech really was incredible. No wonder their army matched no other in the universe.

The first ship approached at an incredible speed, releasing a jet of warning shots to the right of her craft. Jen stuck her tongue out playfully to one side and, with a deft flick of her wrist, sent the craft into a spectacular barrel roll, into the line of fire. She rolled the craft between the shots, heading straight towards the enemy ship, until, at the very last minute, when she could see the red of the Irken's eyes, she pulled the ship into a dive, firing a single shot of her own. She couldn't miss as such close proximity. The laser burst landed squarely in the fuel tank of the Guard Ship and she manoeuvred the craft away from the resulting explosion. That was _her _warning shot.

----

Dib sat at the controls of his latest gift from Zim. It seemed that while the alien took great pleasure in Dib's mental and emotional anguish, he never failed to appreciate the twenty-six year-old's presence. In the nine years since Earth had been destroyed, Dib had found himself grow accustomed to the numbness that took over his mind when he thought of his former home. Instead, he focused on every task that needed to be done on board Zim's victory reward (his plans to conquer the Tallest had failed- they too had grown in his absence, now reaching an almighty height of 7'5) - a luxury Irken Invader Ship known as the Colossal. While only an eighth of the size of the Massive, it still classified as a fully equipped and majestically furnished battleship.

Of course, Dib's idea of 'majestic' and 'luxury' didn't run parallel to the Irken meaning of the words. Fitted with over eight hundred laser cannons of varying intensity, and with on board surveillance of a good half of the universe, it certainly qualified as one of the most technologically advanced vehicles Dib had ever witnessed, but it's cold metal interior and constantly pulsating lights certainly weren't his cup of tea. So, as payment for his constant work on board the ship- or for his birthday, Dib wasn't sure which- Zim had surprised his human companion with a new ship, custom made to suit the human's liking. The morning after Dib's twenty sixth birthday, a much warmer and cosier cruiser (still with a myriad of destructive weapons- what ship wouldn't need them?) appeared in the Colossal's hangar with the ID Code 4DIB001.

Still completely absorbed in the ship's capabilities, Dib ran his fingers once more over the dashboard. Admittedly, the relationship between human an alien had progressed from utter hatred to a mutual almost-friendship- against all expectations, but Dib still found it hard to believe that the alien had found it in himself to present Dib with the gift he had been longing for since his sixth birthday. They worked with each other when necessary, sometimes even offering a backhanded compliment, but in their spare time, they were as heartless as always, setting up elaborate and dangerous traps around the ship. But each always knew the other would find a way to thwart their plan. They never underestimated their opponent's intelligence.

Still, Dib wasn't going to question Zim's motives for equipping him with a new ship. He had already deactivated the noxious gas valve and reprogrammed the seatbelts so that they wouldn't suffocate him. He had also replaced the leaking fuel tank, removed Zim's downloaded personality and reprogrammed the ship to form its own, intelligent mind. After all, he didn't want to be stuck with himself- or Zim- any longer than he had to.

Something caught his eye as it wooshed past his windshield. He looked up. A Voot cruiser was being pursued by a good score of the Massive's Royal Guard. Dib flicked the tint on his ship's windows to maximum setting and threw the cruiser's accelerators into full throttle. He let out a cry of joy as the ship reacted immediately, and again as he realised that each minute adjustment of his fingertips would evoke a directional response from the ship.

Although he had come to terms with Zim as a person, his view of Irken society hadn't changed in the slightest- any enemy of the Empire was a friend to Dib. Hence his first reaction was to shoot down three Royal Guard Ships in quick succession. The mysterious victim was a more than a half decent pilot. He watched the clumsy Voot cruiser turn a loop that was as close to graceful as could be achieved with the bulky craft, and then blinked several times as it neatly wiped out another Guard Ship. He gave a low whistle. He may have been piloting and ships for nine years now, but this guy'd been flying since birth.

Pulling his new contraption into reverse, he flipped the vehicle sideways and swerved round to play his part in a pincer movement in on a seventh enemy vessel, firing a shot in perfect synchronisation with his newfound ally. They separated to take care of a further six ships, bringing the total to thirteen. Dib found another laser cannon which fired from the rear of his cruiser, and so took down another two Irkens who had intentions of attacking his exposed fuel tank. The Voot cruiser performed a series of complex flips, baiting three enemy craft into fierce pursuit, only to pull out of its acrobatics at the last second, causing all three Irken ships to crash spectacularly.

But it was while the human was concentrating on the second last guard that he caught a glimpse of the Voot pilot. The ships passed each other, and Dib raised his hand in a friendly salute- only to pause halfway there and double take.

What he thought he had just seen was impossible.

---

Jen craned her neck around behind her and blinked. Was that kid for real? She punched up her radar, selected his ship from the three in range and opened up a comm. link with him. A rush of static filled the cockpit, in which she strained to hear the faintest tremors of his voice, her eyes on his tinted windows. Suddenly, his voice was disturbingly loud.

"WATCH OUT!"

She tore her gaze from his ship and screamed as the final Irken guard ship rocketed towards her, kamikaze style, and let a stream of laser bursts drill into the helm of the Voot.

She was jerked forwards suddenly, and then her head came into hard contact with the windscreen as the suspension on her seat snapped, and her vision dissolved into pits of darkness.

----

Dib winced as the ships collided, and turned away from his last victory to blow the final Guard. He tapped the controls with as much dexterity and practise as he would have done a keyboard and a magnetic beam locked onto the Voot. He dragged the cruiser away from the scene, accelerating away from the spot. He opened a communication port with the Colossal.

"Zim? You there?"

A rush of static. Then, "Haaaaaawwdy doody, Diblet!"

Dib rolled his eyes. "GIR! Where's Zim?"

There was a pause as the immature robot hummed to himself as he scanned the room. "Not here!" He trilled. "Got called 'way by those Talley dudes."

Dib blinked. The Colossal was being piloted by GIR?!

No, he remembered, it wasn't. Zim had left it in _his_ hands before he'd been sidetracked by his new toy.

"SHIT!" Dib swore violently, pulling up all radar and satellite coverage on his windshield. He located the Colossal- turning somersaults dangerously close to an asteroid field. He swerved the cruiser around, his cargo turning wildly with him, and pushed the thrusters into hyperdrive.

Two and a half hours later, he had safely docked both his cruiser and his passenger's Voot in the Colossal's hangar. It had taken him only an hour to locate Zim's ship.

He raced up onto the top deck where the cockpit was located and shoved the SIR unit off the controls. He brought the Colossal out of immediate danger, and set an autopilot course for the atmosphere of Meekrob. Yes, the inhabitants of the planet were mostly technical slaves to the Irken race, operated much like sweatshops had been on Earth- on a much larger scale, but it was poorly guarded, and Zim liked to use it as a rendezvous point with his human accomplice.

Dib was about to exit the cockpit when the door opened before he had chance to reach for the release pad. He stopped mid-stride, and turned pale.

Jen blinked at him. He didn't have a PAK. And he was tall. And his skin was a light almond colour. And he had wonderfully deep brown eyes that swam with life. And, she noticed finally, when she had stopped admiring him, he was about to throw up. She stepped out of the way to let him through, but instead of emptying the contents of his stomach, he bent double and took several deep breaths. Then he straightened up, and stared at her again, struggling to find words. He alternated between staring wild-eyed and hyperventilating until he finally found words.

"You're… you're _human!_"

* * *

I'm not sure what I've just gotten myself into...


	2. Jen's Side

And thus the fist part of my plot bunny rears its little bunny-face.

**Disclaimer**: Invader Zim characters/places and suchlike are property of Mighty Mr Vasquez- and Nick grumbles

* * *

Jen blinked. "And so are you." She said blankly. "But you're PAKless."

Dib's brow furrowed. "How did you get away?!" He asked, ignoring her last statement and reaching out to touch her nose, as if checking it was real. "You're human, and you have a nose, and hair, and ears," his hands moved to brush the body part in question, "and a jaw, and a collar bone, and shoulders and-" he stopped mid sentence, painfully aware that his next word would have been 'breasts'. He pulled away. "What- how did you- you escaped!"

Jen released a breath. She'd never been touched by another human. And certainly not a pure one. And not as gently, as reverently, as if she was a sacred deity. She half expected him to fall to his knees- but was still extremely surprised when he did so, weeping silently. She crouched to his level. "Are you okay?" She asked, brow furrowed. He looked up.

"I've been alone for nine years." He said meekly, grasping her hand to reassure himself she was real. "And I thought I was the only one. The only one left…" He released her and began his deep breathing routine.

Dib had had dreams- or nightmares, he was never sure how he felt when he awoke from such visions- that he would encounter Dwicky, the only living human he knew of, but the man's body had been found on Vort- and Dib had lost all hope of ever finding one of his own. He had accepted the depression and immense loneliness that came with being the sole survivor. Such had his dependence on Zim arose. The alien was the only friend he had, and certainly the only Irken he had ever spoken to. Zim had kept him top secret from his Tallest, fearing Dib's safety would be compromised if he was exposed to the Irken race. But now, in front of him, stood- well, hunched- a human being. Admittedly, her skin was a little greener than it should have been, and her eyes a little larger, and a deep violet colour- and she was dressed in an invader uniform- but she was a human, without question.

She stayed low, crouched awkwardly before him. He finished breathing. "How did you escape?" He asked again.

"Well, it was a job and a half, I can tell you_ that_ for free. I had to knock out the guard- the right guard, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to steal his suit, and then I had to-"

"Not from the Irkens, you can get to that later, from the _planet!_ How did you get out of Earth?" Dib's initial shock and elation subsided enough for him to demand an answer to his question.

"From Earth? I didn't escape. I was sent."

He blinked. "By who? NASA?"

"Who's NASA?" She asked, falling backwards and crossing her legs. This kid was really weird. "I'm Jen, by the way." She said, extending a hand.

"Dib." Replied Dib, taking her hand. Instead of shaking it, as he had expected her to, she tugged his fingers lightly. He let the odd gesture slip, and looked back at her. "Short for Jennifer, I guess? And how can you not know about NASA?"

"Jennifer? Jen is shorthand for Jenohda Experiment Nine. Jenhoda's the Irken word for a brand of genetics concerned with PAK assimilation. I can't remember my real name. Funny that…"

Dib's mind whirred into overdrive, and as he processed the information, he became slowly less reactive, until he was simply kneeling on the floor, completely absent.

_A human experiment? She was created by the Irkens? Is that why Zim needed to keep me secret? So they couldn't use me? Is that how Dwicky died- trying to escape… but then, why would Irkens want to recreate the human race? They ordered Zim to destroy it years ago!_

He re-entered the room as Jen slapped him soundly across the face. He was now on his back and Jen was kneeling over him.

"Buddy, you got some problems." She said, and there was a large amount of concern in her voice that Dib hadn't heard since, well… since his mother was alive.

"So the Irkens created you?" He asked, disregarding her statement.

For the first time, she looked insulted. "Oh, so just because I'm green, you think I'm a creation?! I'm a perfectly natural Earth-dwelling human, thank you very much. Exactly the same as you, only not quite as lucky. The question here is how did _you_ escape?"

Dib paused. He hadn't expected that. It made sense, to ask about his own escape, but somehow he had assumed she knew everything. "Me? Zim took me. He saved me. From the explosion."

Jen frowned. "There was an explosion? Where?"

The twenty-six year old gave her an incredulous look and sat up. "The Earth. It exploded. Nine years ago. Everything. Gone… what happened to you? Did an Irken save you?"

Jen blinked again. "No, Dib, it didn't. The Earth's still there- or at least, it was seven months ago when I left it."

Dib blanched. "It _did_, damnit! How could you have left? I'm not lying! It's GONE!" Tears swelled in his eyes. "Zim destroyed it! My whole family is _dead_. My father, Gaz. GONE. They're dead-" Dib broke down as the grief he had learned to suffocate returned with a powerful and overwhelming clarity.

Jen looked at the weeping man before her and felt a terrible lurch in her heart. Obviously something terrible had happened to this boy at the hands of this _Zim_ fellow, and he was experiencing serious trauma. Carefully, she wrapped her arms around the boy- who seemed, in all honesty, to be more or less the same age as her- and soothed him with a soft whisper.

Dib was not a hysterical mourner. His face remained stony as tears leaked from his chestnut eyes, and his breathing only changed to allow him to repeat glum words- the name of the little sister he had failed to protect, fragmented sentences he wished his father had heard.

Somewhere in his anguish, he realised he was being held tightly. He sniffed and drew a shuddering breath, rubbing a palm into his eye. Jen released him slowly, and he murmured a quiet apology, which she waved away.

"I'm not crazy." He said finally. "I'm not. I know that everything I saw was real." He looked at Jen with such ferocity it was hard for her not to believe him. "But you're from Earth too. And you've been there recently…" he sighed. "This makes no sense. Tell me everything you know."

Jen regarded him cautiously. He seemed to have finally come to terms with himself. Perhaps she did owe him an explanation, especially if he had been away from Earth for nine years. Much had changed in the political status of the planet in that short period.

"Well, started more or less five years ago. Earth's interplanetary relations with Neptune were interrupted with the onset of the Irken Invasion Phase One. I had graduated from the Royal Combat Arts and Space Craft Engineering Academy the year before. My family's been graduating from there for generations. Anyway, I was sent out to fight as part of the Earth Alliance Force- or the EAF, as you probably remember it, yes?"

Dib shook his head. "I don't remember any of that." He said, trying to control his impatience. "But don't try to explain it, I'll work it out as you go."

Jen nodded slowly, and then turned back to her narrative. "Right. Well, in that battle, my squadron was captured. Our Captain was tortured and killed, and the rest of us were experimented upon. The Irken scientists attempted to fuse us with their PAK technology. There were nine left in our Squadron. One by one, we were taken away- and," She shuddered violently for a second, remembering the tortured screams of her team mates as the Irkens infused technology within their bodies. "I mean, on Earth we had similar ideas- fusing tech with human, but ours was compatible with our bodies. We could, for example, keep our hearts beating with a device-"

Dib's eyes lit up. "Like a pace-maker, hey?"

Jen shook her head. "Pace-maker? It's an HBR- heartbeat regulator. Anyway, the Irken technology overrode our human minds, causing unimaginable pain and one by one, killing off our elite warriors. I am the last non-assimilated. They discovered on Experiment Eight that if they fused Irken DNA with ours, they could 'prep' us for a PAK system- that is, they could construct a layer beneath our skin of electronics, which allow our bodies to become fused with the PAKs. Experiment Eight was a success. And now the Irkens plan on assimilating the human race into PAK stasis."

"What about you?"

"Me? I was prepped- I have a small amount of Irken DNA, hence my eyes and skin. And," she added, somewhat embarrassed, shaking her fiery red hair forwards, exposing two short crimson antennae, which quirked upright when she brushed them. "I can keep them down most of the time. That was an overdose of DNA. Anyway, once prepped, a human must wait eight months before the PAK can be installed- to let our bodies accept the DNA and tech. I didn't intend on being assimilated- and I don't intend on it now. You're probably the last pure human alive."

Dib nodded slowly. "From what I know of Irken tech, it's a credible story. But that still doesn't explain how you can all exist when the Earth was destroyed years before any of this happened!"

Jen growled, an odd, animalistic, Irken sound. "Have you not been listening to me at all?!" She yelled, standing.

Dib got to his feet too, a full head and shoulders taller than her. "Of course I've been listening. It just doesn't make any _sense_."

They were interrupted suddenly by GIR, who barged into the room, his panels crimson, and saluted Dib. "Sir. Master Zim will be returning to the ship. And he will have guests Tallest Purple and Red aboard. He demands all necessary procedures be carried out." Zim's voice suddenly cut through GIR's speech as the robot replayed his recorded message. "_You know what must be done. Follow the instructions we have discussed previously and all will be well- and, er, make sure the hangar is clear._ End transmission." With that, GIR's customary aqua lights returned and he flipped experimentally.

If it was possible, Dib felt worse.

* * *

comments, questions, concrit? drop a review! Also, it's not ALL Dib centred, just need to set a few things up before our favourite green man shows up!


	3. Complex Theorems

**Disclaimer**: Invader Zim characters/places and suchlike are property of Mighty Mr Vasquez- and Nick ... gnnn...

* * *

"Come on, we gotta get outta here!" He yelled, grabbing Jen's arm. "I still don't believe you, but if you're escaping from the Irkens, we're on the same side and don't have time to argue about it. How bad is your Voot?"

"Bad." She replied flatly, and then she paled too. "If the Tallest find it here-"

"You can initiate self destruct once we get out of the atmosphere. Hopefully Zim will give us time to leave before he lands. If the Tallest catch even a glimpse of us, we'll be ruined."

Jen found her footing and ran beside him. Dib noticed, from the corner of his eye, that her movements were not human. They were more fluid, almost catlike- like Zim's. She ran with all the grace of a feline, though her strides were the same length and her arms moved in perfect time to Dib's. He sighed. Perhaps he _was _insane.

They burst into the hangar, and Dib wasted no time running down the stairs, instead choosing to simply jump the barrier and land on the floor in a roll, closely followed by Jen, who slid down the support column and sprung from it at the last second. She landed with a neat tumble turn, propelling herself back onto her feet in one fluid motion. She made to run towards her Voot, but Dib reached out and pulled her by her wrist towards his cruiser. He grasped her waist mid-stride, tossed her unceremoniously inside the vehicle and rammed the door shut, yelling commands to the onboard computer as he took his position at the controls.

"I'll fly." Jen said, picking herself from the floor of the ship- as comfortable and spacious as it was- and putting her hand on the back of Dib's pilot chair.

"No you won't. This ship's custom built. I'm the only one who can handle it properly- save Zim, of course." Dib sat down and nodded curtly at Jen's hand, which she removed from the chair, allowing him to turn to the controls.

"What's with this Zim? He killed your family, yet you respect him? You hate Irkens, yet Zim is different? Who_ is_ he?"

Dib ignored her, establishing the magnetic field that caused the stolen Voot to soar towards them and attach itself to the cruiser with a violent thud. He started the boosters, and they shot out of the hangar, leaving the Colossal to cruise on towards Meekrob.

They accelerated away, and, once Dib had deemed them a safe distance away from Zim's ship, he promptly disengaged the magnetic connection to the Voot, and blew the ship up with a single charged laser burst.

Jen felt the control pad on her arm tighten unbearably, and she let out a yelp of pain as it leaked acid and destroyed itself. Her skin was eaten away down to a layer of circuitry, and then, as quickly as it had disappeared, it began to heal itself, her Irken DNA already repairing her body.

"That was my ship, you incompetent _freak!"_ She yelled, blinking back moisture from her eyes.

Dib turned his chair towards her, his lanky form draped comfortably around the frame. "What, and you'd prefer to have all that evidence following you around?"

Jen shot him a dark look. "You haven't told me about Zim." She said, knowing she had lost.

The boy grimaced. "Ah yes. Zim."

----

The alien in question landed his Vootian Series X cruiser with ease. He guided his Tallest to the nearest elevator, and politely instructed that they hold on tightly, before entering the code for the conference room.

Approximately two and a half seconds later, they exited the small portable room, and took seats at a large table.

"Now." The reinstated Irken said, with what he falsely estimated to be a pleasant smile. "You wished to discuss urgent matters with me?"

Tallest Red looked uneasily towards his companion, and started shakily. "Yyyeeeaah. Y'see Zim, y'did great with Earth..."

"Oh, yeah. Real great. Better than great. Fantastic. You blew that thing right up and- well. The rest is history, isn't it?" Purple joined in, smiling widely in a pitiful attempt at tact.

Zim's eyebrow lifted. Not only had he rose in stature, or rank during the last few years, but he had left his immature, clueless nature far behind. "But?"

Red immediately became flustered. "But nothing! I mean, not only Earth, but the improvements to Vort, the work you put into the quelling of the Rebellion, not to mention the conquest of Ceratia last Semi-Annul…"

Zim leaned forwards in his chair. "My Tallest. These events have all been in service of the Empire. You have called a meeting to discuss an issue with my work thus far. You need not waste your breath complimenting your humble servant. My rank reflects your approval."

Red's expression became soft, and he leaned his head towards Purple. "Cute, inn'e?" He murmured, before turning back to Zim and continuing his speech, in a low, conspiratorial voice. "You are aware that during your Ceratia mission we have been conducting experiments on certain… life forms. PAK assimilations, to be exact."

"Of course. I assumed there was a reason you had not publicised the details."

"Indeed. Well, erm…" Red floundered for the correct words to use. Purple laid a hand on his companion's arm and attempted a different tactic.

"Zim, are you aware of the Parallelum Theory?" He said, suddenly more solemn than the Prime Invader had ever seen him before.

Zim's antennae flickered nervously, and he inclined his head slightly. "No, my Tallest. Should I be?"

Red grimaced. "No. You shouldn't be. But as of this moment, you _need_ to be."

----

"…we have truces- no, not they're not exactly truces. Hours- well, no, not hours either. Boundaries?" Dib sighed for the umpteenth time as he tried to explain the nuances of his relationship with Zim. "For example, during rest periods, we never launch a full-frontal attack. I mean, we're not best buddies or anything, but we survive. Stupid as it seems, he's my only connection to Earth. After, well, you wouldn't understand… but... Agh! Never mind."

Dib's frustration finally got the better of him and he gave up. How could he explain to Jen that his whole life now revolved around his most hated enemy- and that he very much enjoyed it that way? Every day he would wage a merciless war with Zim; an invigorating test of his intellect, physical stamina and stealth in which he would exchange crippling blows until both him and his adversary neared unconsciousness. He would work tirelessly for the alien, with little or no reward, save a meal and protection from hostile outsiders. He would, in essence be Zim's plaything, but he didn't mind. He was provided with all the technology and paranormal experiences he could dream of, and the need for constant vigilance kept his mind away from his former home and family.

But there were times when he couldn't escape his memories; usually in his sleep. Nightmares haunted him, and he would wake up in the dead of night- and Zim would be mutely bent over him, one three-clawed hand on each of Dib's shoulders, his eyes fearful and concerned, darting over Dib's troubled visage- and the human would know that his Irken master was not completely stone hearted.

Jen grimaced. "Sounds like victim mentality to me." She said bluntly, her eyes glancing over the various displays on Dib's windshield and processing the information they displayed.

Dib stood defiantly. "See, that's_ exactly_ why no one else knows about me! You just don't _understand!_ Zim _cares _about me- it's not all in my head. Yes, he's a deceitful, malevolent, foul-mouthed little shit, but that's his_ job!_ That's what his PAK's made him- it's not who he _is_!" He gestured wildly. "Until Earth, he was an outcast, completely rejected by the entire Empire. He's always had the intelligence to destroy planets- there's a reason he scored higher on his Invader traineeship exams than anyone in the past thirty Annuls. What he lacked was the downright nerve! Every plan had a deliberate back door- he_ knew _I'd be there to stop him! Every time he'd_ let_ me win."

"But, according to you, he _did_ blow up the Earth."

Dib faltered for a moment. "Well, yeah. But he's still the same guy; he still knows he needs me to keep him in check. And_ that's_ what makes the difference between him and the others." Dib announced, with a smile.

"What? That he needs you to stop him from acting on those manic urges to destroy the Universe?" Jen looked at him disbelievingly.

"No- that he understands he needs to be restrained."

---

"Essentially, Zim, the theory states that there are two halves, if you like, to the Universe, and that these halves are mirror images of one another." Purple explained slowly.

"A parallel existence?"

"Not quite parallel. More… _symmetrical_. You can, of course, imagine the implications of such a theory. A second Irk, a second Vort, a second Meekrob-"

Zim's ruby eyes widened. "And a second Earth?!"

Red nodded. "Quite. You see, Zim, when you destroyed Earth- and when each of our Invaders conquered a planet, we only did half a job."

Zim opened his mouth to ask another question, but was swiftly silenced by his purple-clad leader. "This, until recently, has been a mere theory. Guesswork, if you will, of the ancients. However, we recently found proof of its existence."

"We found the other Earth."

Zim's head spun. His leaders gave him time to process the information, holding a short discussion between themselves on more trivial matters. Zim interrupted them minutes later with another question. "So, the second Irk. How are we-"

Red gave him no time to finish. "That's the other part, Zim. The time it took to reach the second Earth matched the time it took you to get to Earth. We checked the stat readings from your Voot cruiser- the figures are accurate to the thousandth degree."

The Prime Invader blinked, looking to his second leader for clarification.

"Zim, Irk is smack-bang in the Universe's line of symmetry, as are all its aligning planets, including Vort, Meekrob and Conventia. They do not have mirrors. The mirror Foodcourtia was destroyed in the early stages of Irken history- hit by a meteor, if I remember rightly."

"But then, how did-"

"All the planets were_ created_ symmetrical to each other. However, it is possible that one side of the universe is slightly older than the other. Of course, as far as Irk is concerned, the difference is minimal, but as the distance from the axis of symmetry increases…"

"…so the time gap is greater. For example, the inhabitants of the second Earth we encountered was already in the early stages of Galactic exploration. Their space craft is highly durable- it could easily reach the outskirts of their solar system, and with a few minor adjustments could have been able to travel into the far reaches of their galaxy."

"Zim, you must also understand that although, for the most part, the Universe is still symmetrical, certain unknown properties allow for movement to occur independently on each side of the axis. For example, mirror meteors follow different paths, a select number of asteroid belts move through different currents and at varying speeds. Even the rotation of planets in Solar Systems can differ."

The Irken soldier nodded. "I think I understand. But what does this have to do with-?"

"The experiments?" Red waited for Zim's nod before he continued. "We have been conducting experiments on the Earthen humans. Recently, our scientists found a way to assimilate humans to a PAK-driven existence. The process had been thus far, problem free. We intended to enslave the population and immerse them into the Vortian and Meekrob community. However, once the population had been assimilated, they did not simply lie down and play dead as our previous conquests suggested they might. Instead, they have been using their PAKs to create more advanced technology."

"In short, they're leading a resistance- and unlike the Resisty, the human population has both the intelligence and the tools to leave their mark on the Empire. We cannot allow their efforts to go unchallenged. Zim, in light of this revelation, we have a new task for you."

Tallest Purple smiled sweetly. "Annihilate the humans."

* * *

will there be ZaDR in this fic? not really. the idea of the two of them engaging in romance is a little disconcerting to me, but their relationship is complex, such that they may display almost-romantic behaviour towards each other, but never actually feel that way. Erm, yeah. Okay, an example- Zim's protectiveness of Dib. Yes, he goes to intriguing lengths to protect his human friend, but the motives behind that are a little murky. He enjoys the thrill of outwitting Dib, but appreciates that without the human there would be no thrill. Getting the idea? I'm exploring the whole love-to-hate/ passive obsession side to their relationship. It's meant to be a little confuzzling. I'm not sure I fully understand it myself.

Anyway, as usual, comments/questions/anything welcome (but if you have to flame, please flame nicely. I may write fiction with cusswords in, but I'd prefer if said cusswords weren't directed at me. Thanks)


	4. Bail

**Disclaimer**: Invader Zim characters/places and suchlike are property of Mighty Mr Vasquez- and Nick ... gnnn...

WELL HI THERE! I've had a huge response from this- hurrah to all of you! Sorry about the lagging updates, unfrotunately as I'm now starting my senior years in school the workload has skyrocketed and so i'm working mainly on hols and those rare golden moments of spare time. It also means that updates wont be as often as I'd like. However I will do my best. Eh. Enjoy!

* * *

Dib flicked open the communication channel with Zim and, motioning for Jen to stay silent, greeted him cheerily. "Zim, this is Dib. Requesting permission to land."

A crackle of static and a few distorted attempts at speech later, Zim replied. "Permission granted, Dibling. I have news from the Tallest you might be interested in."

Dib's eyebrows rose. "I also have news. Perchance they are related topics?"

When he replied, Zim's voice was dark. "I hope not."

--

Zim was waiting in the hangar when Dib parked his ship. The alien leaned casually on the viewing deck and awaited the arrival of his human. He watched the door of the craft open with a pneumatic hiss and smirked as Dib's head emerged from the cruiser. His expression quickly became sour. It appeared Dib had a _guest_ of some sort.

A green skinned guest, wearing an invader uniform.

Zim's blood turned to ice. _What was he doing with another Irken?! Did he want to get himself killed?!_ The Irken wasted no time to consider Dib's relaxed stance, and hurtled down the steps, rushing towards the intruder and tackling her roughly to the floor. He sprung back onto his feet and stood in front of Dib, whose mouth had fallen slightly open, valiantly protecting his pet.

Jen struggled to her feet and gave the Irken a fierce glare. Then she realised who he was and paled. "I- you- Dib?" She looked to the other human for guidance.

"You're not Irken!" Zim exclaimed, staring bug eyed at the female before him. "You're one of Dib's people! You're from the _Other_ Side."

Both humans blinked at this. Dib opened his mouth first. "Zim? What's going on?"

The Invader turned to leave, gesturing for him to follow. "Dib. I must converse with you. Now." Jen made to follow as well, but was stopped with a violent hiss from Zim. "_Alone_." He added, with a glare.

Dib turned to her. "Erm. Hang around in here. I'll be back in a sec." He said meekly, following Zim out of the hangar.

Jen paused mid stride, and waited for the pair to leave. She had no intention of waiting in the hangar for their return, particularly as she suspected that although Dib was undoubtedly fascinated with her, Zim-the-Irken held most of the power in the relationship- and Zim-the-Irken was not, under any circumstances, to be trusted.

She glanced around the hangar, and then, sliding off invader boots to revealed stocking-clad feet, followed noiselessly.

--

Dib paled. "A _what_?" He sat down heavily on one of the many poofy chairs that inhabited Zim's personal quarters. Although the alien had despised many things about Earth, its wide variety of squishy furniture had amused him to no end, and, in a stroke of genius, had put forwards the notion of an Irken Ikea- Irkea.

"So you're telling me Earth exists… and your next assignment is to destroy it?" The human ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. He thought for a moment and then addressed his companion beseechingly. "You're not actually going to _do it_, are you?"

Zim's face remained impassive. "I have never rejected a mission from the Tallest." He said simply.

Dib stood up, fear and rage welling up within him. "Zim!" He cried, but the alien held up a claw to silence him.

Zim began pacing. "Dib. If I do not accept this mission, you will never have the opportunity to visit your worthless planet's double." He glanced at the human, who was eyeing him sceptically. "If I do accept this mission… I cannot guarantee its safety, but you will," he shuddered, "_meet your people_." He spat the words, an expression of utmost disgust on his face.

Dib blinked. "And Jen?"

Zim's eyes remained slits, but his mouth widened in a malicious grin.

--

Jen was crouched awkwardly against the door, her ear pressed to the cold metal and her feet positioned between door and floor, ready to spring into action. Her eyes darkened as Zim recited his discussion with the tallest. She stayed long enough to hear his explanation, and then sprinted from her hiding spot, making a mad dash for the hangar.

She skidded to a halt long enough to slip on her boots, and then slid gracefully down the railing of the stairs, regaining her footing and running for Dib's cruiser. She hesitated only a moment before diving into the pilot's seat and surveying the keypad before her. The key with driving space craft was to look for four things: a joy stick of some kind, accelerator, brake, and a laser cannon. Once you had those, you had the entire craft down pat. Of course, given her own Earth-created Falcon S-90, she could perform dazzling aeronautics, and simultaneously operate navigation, com links- even change the position of her wings to create more or less resistance.

Flying was definitely her thing.

Jen flicked a ruby lock from her eye and gave the hangar a sad glance. She may feel a tad guilty about leaving Dib behind, but she had her own safety to think about- and that was what she was going to deal with first. Perhaps when she returned to Earth she'd be in better condition to free him.

She wrapped long slender fingers around the joysticks of the contraption and mimicked Dib's actions to start the craft. She piloted the cruiser from the hangar with ease, waiting until she had cleared the Colossal before releasing the thrusters on Dib's ship and speeding off into oblivion.

--

Dib blanched, and, with a nervous glance from Zim to the door and back, sprinted towards the latter, the alien close behind. They squeezed through the door and raced towards the hangar. Zim pulled out a small handgun on the run, which Dib deftly snatched as he rammed into his adversary, sending the other flying into a nearby wall.

Dib reached the hangar first, but stopped as soon as he reached the railing, his mouth half open to warn Jen. His ship was gone, and so was the girl. He frowned. She'd bailed!

Zim arrived on scene, seizing his weapon from Dib's limp hands. He slapped the side of it, illuminating panels at the side and charging the laser for a concentrated shot. The Irken raised his weapon and then realised, too late, that his prey had already left.

"HUMAN FILTH!" Zim declared loudly, loosing his laser burst out into the hangar in frustration. "See, Dib?! _That's_ why I should destroy your mirror planet! Your people are betrayers!"

Dib's eyes narrowed. "Well, you didn't make the best reception!"

"That's not my job, ­DIB-STINK!"

They both paused at that. Zim had retained many of his Earth-inspired insults and profanities, but he hadn't used Dib-Stink since… well. Nine years had gone by since then. Zim's antennae lost their strict vertical stance and fell limply. He couldn't match Dib's eyes. The human in question turned on his heel and left silently.

"Dib-"

The alien slapped the side of his gun, and let another laser burst fire into the wall.

--

Despite the fact that the controls and display in the Irken made machine were half-translated into English, Jen still had a hard time figuring out how to open the navigation software. A cappuccino, a back massage, one movie-with-popcorn and several accidental laser bursts later, a holographic image of Earth floated on the right hand side of the windshield-screen, and an arrow at the head of her screen told her she was heading directly for her home planet. Not only that, but the ship could also be placed on Auto-pilot, allowing the pilot to do other things with her time- all six months of it if she didn't figure out how to kick the craft into hyper drive. She sighed once more, pacing the interior of Dib's craft and then throwing herself back into the pilot seat.

To say she was experiencing a crisis of conscience would have been an understatement. Her interaction with Dib- lasting all of an hour total- and Zim's rushed explanation of the existence of a second Earth- or, more accurately, previous existence- left her more than a little confused. Not only that, but her RCA Training had encouraged teamwork and mateship- she had never left a man behind.

_I will be back for Dib._ She promised, diverting her concentration towards the ship's control centre. Now a little wiser to the ships commands, she opened a window on the windshield and selected what appeared to be the main engine. Altering its power, she simultaneously pushed two sliding dials to their maximum and entered 100 into the ship's key command system.

The reaction was immediate. The cruiser shot forwards smoothly, and the counter flashing on the side of the screen now blinked a single week until Earth's atmosphere was reached. A smug smile came to Jen's face.

She was damn good at this.

--

Tallest Red paced the bridge of the Massive, casting glances towards his co-leader, who was lounging in a luxurious leather couch. "We cannot have that escapee return to Earth." He said finally.

Purple didn't bother to reply. He knew it would be ignored anyway; when Red was on a roll, he stopped for nothing.

"She represents hope for the species. _All_ humans will be brought to justice. How long did Mak say it would take to finish the virus?"

Purple sighed. "He didn't." He stood, his ceremonial Tallest robe dragging slightly on the floor behind him. He moved serenely towards the deck, gazing out of the large window that graced the front of the ship. The two were very similar in many respects, but when it came to leading, it was definitely Purple who was more philosophical and gentle. He dealt with much of the behind-scenes work; the economy and welfare of the Irken race. Red was by far more confident and extraverted. His military strategies were second to none, and his crowd-skills were impeccable.

Purple was about to offer a profound comment on the arrangement of the stars when he was interrupted by a small green-eyed crew member.

"My Tallests. Officer Kip would like to see you. He has a lead on our escapee."

Red turned magnificently, a fist clenched and a wild-eyed grin on his face. "Excellent!" He roared, starting forwards before his robe had time to settle from his turn. Purple merely glanced behind, and followed at a distance.

They arrived in the Main Operations within minutes, where Officer Kip greeted them with a sharp salute and bowed head. "My Tallests." He said, straightening from his small half-bow. "I believe the escapee has stolen Invader Zim's ship. Our Royal Guard Section A followed her to the vicinity of the Colossal, but was destroyed. We have received a signal from the ship indicating human DNA has been detected- it is obviously our target. The cruiser in question is headed towards Earth as we speak. A Stealth Retrieval squadron has been issued."

Red nodded. "Good work, Kip."

"Zim's personal cruiser?" Purple questioned suddenly.

"His custom built. ID 4DIB001."

Red spoke next. "Ah. Is Commander Tak on duty?"

"She is, sir."

Purple grimaced. He knew what Red's instructions would be. "Send her to lead the Retrieval squad. I don't want any mess-ups."

"Consider it done, sir."

* * *

Comments/questions/suggestions/anything welcome (but if you have to flame, please flame nicely. I may write fiction with cusswords in, but I'd prefer if said cusswords weren't directed at me. Thanks)

Hint: I particularly love questions/comments that are plot related, as the whole point of this fic is to entertain, and well, how else am I going to know what you want to read? That's not to say I will be deviating very much from the plot in my mind, but I'm sure I can work around what you lot want to hear!


	5. A Friendly Tiff

**Disclaimer**: Invader Zim characters/places and suchlike are property of Mighty Mr Vasquez- and Nick ... gnnn...

Well I'm quite surprised I managed to update as fast! I've been writing in chunks, and realised as I was reachin the last few paragraphs that I'd written far more than was necessary for one chapter... but as I don't know where to split it, this will have to do. Enjoy an extra-long update, folks!! (although don't count on the next on being a) as long and b) as early-- not to say I won't try!)

* * *

Jen sighed heavily, rising from her seat on the couch and pacing the cruiser once more. Twenty-two hours and she was already fidgety. There was so much to do and yet the one she yearned for was the ability to run somewhere. This slightly-larger-than-a-fighter-jet craft wouldn't allow her that luxury. She was about to throw herself restlessly onto the couch again when a flashing yellow shape appeared on her radar. As it approached the centre of the dial, it became orange- and then red- and a small siren grew in volume.

She raced over to the controls, sat down and smiled. Finally. Some action.

--

Zim hammered on Dib's door once more. He grimaced. Either the human wasn't in there or he was being particularly difficult. The Irken gritted his teeth, becoming frustrated. Turning on his heel, the sinewy alien marched to his own quarters, hitting the pad on the wall and activating the lights as he entered.

He closed the door, pulled up a chair and waited. Surely Dib would emerge if he felt he was going to be undisturbed. Then, Zim would confront him.

--

Dib sat on the end of his bed with his head in his hands. His room wasn't half as luxurious as Zim's. He preferred it that way- a desk, a single bed, and a large array of technological marvels considered 'normal' or 'sub-average' by most Irkens. That's not to say his quarters were uncomfortable. The bedroom was large enough, housing his most precious furniture, and it had a certain_ homely_ feel to it. But it was definitely Irken. The bulging tubes and masses of wire were a sign of Irken- not human- comfort. Dib had spent almost a third of his life in Irken confines and while he had not spoken to anyone but Zim, he knew a great deal about Irken culture from observation alone. He sighed.

He knew a lot more about Earth culture from being a part of it.

And the only way he would ever return to that culture was sitting in his stolen ship.

Dib waited until Zim had finished stalking his bedroom and then poked his head around the door. He trotted to the control room and opened a channel to his cruiser. The link would take a while to connect, but the Colossal had been programmed to reach the ship from any distance, and vice versa.

He waited for a moment, listening to the slow hum of the connection as it established itself. When the comm. link finally broke through, a loud yell startled him. He listened closely, his expression darkening as a battle unfolded through the speakers…

--

Jen wrenched the joystick back, yelling as she did so and falling onto the control centre, accidentally accepting all incoming communications as the ship was hit once more. She cursed loudly, and then spun the craft around.

A female Irken voice resounded through the craft. "Prisoner! You will not escape in Prime Zim's ship! Prepare to meet a satisfyingly gory end at the hands of TAK!" She laughed manically, piloting her stealth jet in front of Jen's windshield. Then, a harshly evil smirk on her face, she activated the stealth squadron's signature feature- one which turned the space craft invisible.

Jen smirked at that. She watched as the cruiser's superior radar showed Tak's ship swerving around to her right. Yes, Irken technology could baffle Earth's- or any other race's for that matter- but it was no match for itself. Jen opened fire, a steady stream of lasers echoing from the ship's fore. She turned the craft, following Tak around, her stunted antennae flattening against her hair and her eyes narrowing in concentration. Several blasts later, she gave a triumphant yell, as the camouflage shield around the Stealth Jet faltered, and the craft sparked into visibility again.

"Not today, Commander." She said, with a deep satisfaction.

Jen had had a run in with Tak before. That feisty Irken bitch was the one who'd led the kidnapping of her squadron in the first place, and played the first move in the Earth/Irk war-game. Needless to say, a certain enmity stood between them, one which fuelled the merciless battle.

Aside from Tak, seven other ships made up the Stealth Retrieval Squad. And while Tak had provided an adequate distraction, they had formed a circle around the stolen craft, surrounding Jen completely.

A cruel laugh filled the cockpit. "Yes, today, Jenohda Experiment Nine. Your pitiful human brain has let you down once more, but don't worry. You will _assimilated_ soon enough. A nice, virus-infected PAK will do wonders for your intelligence!"

And with that, Tak opened a communication channel to her subordinates. "OPEN FIRE!" She commanded harshly, releasing a jet of lasers which struck Prime Invader Zim's cruiser squarely, blowing the engine, then the fuel tank, and sending the mutant human girl retching as she struggled to find her breath in the gasless wasteland that was space.

--

Dib stood upright. "Oh sweet mother of-" He raced towards the door, wrenching it open and leaping the fence on the platform, landing with a roll two storeys down on the main deck of the Colossal. He didn't get much further; a loud, echoing projection of Zim's voice made him freeze just as he staggered to his feet.

"DIB-FILTH! Prepare for the end!"

Dib looked up and his eyes widened. He ducked, whatever thoughts of Earth and Jen he had previously housed evaporating as he avoided the huge blade that swung towards him. He threw himself back onto the floor, rolling out of reach and then, once satisfied he was out of range, moved again. He stumbled forwards, gaining his footing as he ran.

Of all the times to be unprepared, Zim had to choose _this_ one for a surprise attack.

The alien swung down from one of the many levels above Dib, sat in what appeared to be a new addition to the ship: a hover-craft styled control centre sporting a variety of levers, buttons and dials- all of which Dib was sure operated some form of weaponry concealed in the walls. He eyed said walls cautiously, backing up.

"No fair, Zim! You can't use the _ship_ against me! Unfair advantage!" He called, bumping into a purple-hued wall.

Fifty metres above him, Zim paused, his finger hovering ominously over a button. Dib took advantage of his momentary hesitation. "Zim, we need to get to your Vootian- Jen's been surrounded by Tak's crew- and we really need to… are you listening to me?"

Zim blinked, and completely ignored Dib's statement. "I suppose it is an unfair advantage." He said, shrugging, and he pressed the button.

Dib was unceremoniously catapulted from his position against the wall as a section of said structure shot forwards. He landed roughly a good five metres away, wheezing. He put a hand to a rib, feeling gently around the bone. Not broken- just bruised. He took a moment to get his breath back.

"No, really, Zim! I don't have_ time_ for this-"

"Catch, Dib-thing, and prepare to fight back if you dare!" Zim interrupted him, tossing an Irken gun to the human. It landed less than a metre away from him. "I see you are pitifully under prepared, and you are no fun when you're unorganised."

Dib gave him a dark look and snatched the weapon. "So you give me a single gun against the entire ship. How very sportsmanlike of you." He muttered sarcastically, slapping the side of the gun and watching it power up. At least it wasn't a dud. He took careful aim at Zim's hover chair, releasing a concentrated blast of light towards where he guessed the engine was. He was right. The craft spiralled downwards, Zim struggling to keep control.

As he descended, Dib ran a finger over the side of the gun. Various forms of contact with the weapon would operate various abilities. Slapping it, for instance, would charge a shot- for long distance, or deep penetration of a subject, usually a machine of some kind. Stroking it would provide ten minutes of endless rapid-fire shots- should the user choose to hold the trigger for that long. Gripping the weapon for three seconds would lengthen the barrel and provide an eyelet sporting a crosshair for sniper work, tapping a sensor on the top would create a wide laser beam lasting for two minutes, or as long as the user held the trigger, handy for wiping out large numbers of enemies. And to top it off, it could be programmed to scan the user's finger prints, and, in the case that the fingerprints did not match the set pre-programmed as 'safe', the gun could do anything from refuse to fire to backfire.

Dib grinned. He loved Irken technology.

Obviously the gun hadn't rejected him as a user- Zim hardly ever pulled a stunt as low as that… Well, alright, he did, but Dib had never been in a situation where the Invader's programming took an_ unexpectedly_ nasty turn. For the most part, Zim understood that Dib was on 'his side', and their mutual agreement allowed the alien to abide by a variation of the phrase "what's mine is yours" by programming Dib's prints and DNA sequence as 'safe' on his- and most of the other Irken Empire's- equipment. The human was almost an honorary Invader.

The alien in question stumbled from the ship, limping slightly, but by no means defeated. His PAK legs emerged and took some of the weight of his injured limb as the mechanics healed Zim's wound, twisting his shin back the right way round with an ugly crunch.

Zim drew a weapon of his own. "Nicely done." He sneered. "But you didn't think I'd be so easy on you, did you?"

Dib blanched. Actually, that's exactly what he'd thought. "No, of course not." He said, raising the gun to eye level and watching the large space that made up the main deck cautiously.

The Invader snickered. "Obviously you did, Dib, as your pitiful defensive tactics prove. Clearly my master plan has escaped your abnormally large head- an extraordinary feat."

Dib swore. "My head is_ not_ large!" He said, becoming angry and loosing off a warning shot that sailed dangerously close to Zim's left eye. The alien didn't flinch. On the contrary, a smile appeared on his face. He was baiting the human.

Zim knew Dib's attention wasn't fully on the battle- he was preoccupied with thoughts of Earth- and thoughts of Earth usually led to depression, which, Zim knew, were most certainly bad for Dib's health. The Irken was not all out of ideas, however.

He smirked. "Well then, _Dib,_ if you're so sure, you won't mind me pressing _this_."

Zim brought out a small hand-held control with a single button on it. A red button. And Dib knew that red buttons did not bode well. Zim pressed it.

Dib moved fast- he turned and fled, ducking a large chunk of wall which broke away and swung pendulum-like towards him. He skidded and turned back, avoiding the machinery a second time with a flying leap. He landed atop the Invader, who had been chasing him, about to open fire. Taking advantage of his accidental win, Dib knelt on the Invader's chest, pinning him to the floor.

Zim grinned. "Touché." He looked at Dib with an odd expression of amusement and then rolled the human off him, reversing the status quo. He stood quickly, focusing his own weapon on Dib's forehead. The human ran a finger down his gun in time with Zim, smirking as he noticed the Irken's weapon was running pitifully low on charge; when the green-skinned figure made contact with his gun, however trigger-light and precise it was, the side panels were dim and blinkered feebly their last vestiges of energy.

It frustrated Dib somewhat that Zim couldn't keep a smile from his face. He walked forwards, nudging the Irken's head with his gun. "Zim. I need your cruiser to save Jen. She can lead us to Earth. And when we're there you can… do what you will."

The smile vanished. "I may be your loyal companion, Dib, but I serve, first and foremost, my Tallest and my kin." Zim's face twisted as he frowned. "Jenohda Experiment Nine is neither."

Dib scowled, one hand clutching the Invader's uniform and the other pressing the weapon a little more forcefully against the Irken's head. "Zim. You are running low on charge. You are a mere trigger pull away from death. Your control centre is down. Your Big Red Button failed you. You need your PAK's assistance to stay on your feet. You are hardly in a position to disagree with me."

There was a heavy silence. Dib could almost hear the cogs whirring inside Zim's head.

But as Irkens do not house clockwork in their skulls, Dib was sufficiently distracted by nothing, and it came as a rough surprise when Zim's right arm flicked out roughly, catching the human in the chest. The Irken's left arm neatly relieved Dib of his weapon, and a swift kick brought the human to his knees.

"Zim knows when he is not in the best possible position." The Invader knelt, one claw grasping Dib's scythe-like lock of dark hair and drawing his head backwards. "But he also knows how to rectify such a mistake. Once again, victory is Zim's."

Dib gritted his teeth, heaving himself upright, and shaking the Irken's grasp. He was about to bodily tackle the Invader when a joyous call interrupted their scrap.

"Hay-ya, guys! I set course for Dib's ship! GIR did good, right?" The silver robot flipped neatly, waving the teardrop shaped metal appendages which classed as hands above his head.

Dib smiled. "You were saying, Zim?" He urged, raising a cocky eyebrow.

The Invader scowled.

--

Jen regained consciousness in a blare of whiteness. She blinked. Her back ached. She pushed her head backwards. Something clicked and whatever support she'd previously had dropped away. She let her neck arch back, and gave a small groan. Her muscles were sore, and moved stiffly. And everything was still so blindingly white. She took a moment to gently tense and relax her body in an attempt to rid herself of this wretched tightness.

Her legs were supported by a bed- or a table, or the floor- but her back was awkwardly propped up. It seemed someone had left a small, smooth, dome-shaped object underneath her. If it had been just a tad smaller, she may have found it comfortable, as it followed the curve of her spine and offered strong support. In fact, she mused, it probably would have done wonders for her posture. Her shoulders and neck fell back, however, unsupported by floor or bed.

And then she realised.

She was not dead. Nor was she in a relaxation chamber on Earth. Nor was she stashed in… _Zim-the-Irken­'s _ship. Nor was she waking up in Dim- no, Dib- Dib's stolen cruiser. No, the last thing she remembered was Tak's merciless laugh and struggling for breath.

Which meant she had been caught.

And _assimilated._

She uttered a word so vile it would burn paper had it been written down. Naturally, she had picked it up in the Irken prison cells.

She lifted her neck and made an attempt to sit up. The sound of metal being unsheathed reached her- oddly comforting now- and suddenly the strain on her already sore stomach muscles disappeared and she found it rather easy to right herself. She smiled. That had been a pleasant surprise.

The smile became a frown. _No it had not_, she thought fiercely, closing her eyes in despair as she recognized that her movement had been assisted by the Irken PAK that now rested on her back. She blinked several times. The whiteness dulled, and she began to make out shapes. The room was circular, dome shaped, and there was a window- barely distinguishable from the walls, such was its tint- and two doors, both locked judging from the red lights that flashed warningly on the control panels.

The peaceful silence that had once been granted to her ill-functioning ears was suddenly interrupted by the sounds of muffled yelling as her PAK enhanced the sense. Jen stayed perfectly quiet, listening to the stifled conversation.

--

_"What do you mean the virus didn't transfer!?"_ Tallest Purple's eyes were wide.

Red leaned in close to his inferior. "Do you _know_ what this means?!" He hissed violently, raising a claw threateningly.

Mak sunk in his chair. "My T-Tallests. The human's overdose of Irken DNA- the virus is carefully programmed- it cannot attack her system because it is recognised as Irken." The Irken flinched as Red's claws came towards him.

Purple grasped his equal's claw and halted its progress an inch from the hapless programmer's face. Sliding his claw down Red's arm, Purple dragged the limb backwards and away from their chief programmer. He shot the crimson-clad Irken a stern warning glance. Mak fought for control of his shivering, ignoring the silent exchange between his leaders.

"Deactivate her PAK." Purple said simply, tilting his head forwards and giving a harsh smile in a rare display of malicious triumph. Red lifted one corner of his mouth in a smirk.

Mak blanched. "My Tallests, the ratio of DNA- she is neither species- her PAK does not function like ours- it feeds off her human DNA as well. She cannot be deactivated."

The Tallests' victorious expressions became sour. Purple tightened his grip on Red's arm as he made a second attempt to strike the Irken.

Mak held up an arm to shield himself. "But, sirs! We can use this to our advantage!"

Purple released Red as he slackened, and instead put his arm up in front of his co-leader. "Do extrapolate."

Red growled. "If you are messing with us…" He murmured, eyes narrowed dangerously.

Mak nodded timidly. "I understand. See, my Tallests, if- eh, _when­_- my team hacks into her system, she can be programmed for only our purpose. And, with all the advantages of human and Irken PAKs, she will be our… _secret weapon_ of sorts. She can infiltrate her own race! Even- act as a carrier of the virus!"

Purple blinked. It was barbaric. It was heartless. Red would love it. But it was also intelligent- and efficient. He smiled. It was brilliant. "Mak, you have done well. Continue with your work. You make us proud."

For the first time, Mak sat still. He smiled nervously. "I live to serve my Tallests." He said, the tremor almost gone from his voice.

Purple smiled kindly. "As we live to serve the Irken race."

And with that, they left the room.

* * *

Comments/questions/suggestions/anything welcome (but if you have to flame, please flame nicely. I may write fiction with cusswords in, but I'd prefer if said cusswords weren't directed at me. Thanks)

ps. i seem to be making a habit of ending chapters with the Tallests. Perhaps at some point I should give them their own chapter. Ish.


	6. Jail Bust

**Disclaimer**: Invader Zim characters/places and suchlike are property of Mighty Mr Vasquez- and Nick ... gnnn...

A new chapter. Hurrah!! (and it has taken me THREE attempts now- in which I have pasted from the original word doc, edited, formatted (for some reason, deletes all my boldedness/italics so i have to redo that in the doc section), rewritten parts and augh! The silly internet timed out by the time I clicked save... so I ended up editing in a word document, which I destest, for reasons unknown to myself)

But at least it's up now. PHEWF.

* * *

Dib guarded the control centre like a hawk. Zim stood moodily in the doorway, waiting for an opening, but it wouldn't have mattered. GIR's brand of programming was particularly strong; the SIR unit usually ended his programming sequences with an irreversible pass-code- one which would take Zim and Dib hours of hard work to rectify- as he became carried away with typing.

"Dib! The Massive is in sight!" Zim gasped and pointed a claw behind Dib's head. The human did not move.

"Funny, Zim." He said blandly. "We're chasing my ship, not the massive."

Zim squinted and marched to his human. Gripping Dib's shoulders, the alien forcefully turned the human, indicating the huge purple ship floating towards them. Dib blinked. "She _was_ captured then." He breathed slowly. The implications of that statement hit him a second later, and he jumped for the controls. "Zim, we have to get there _now_! She could be assimilated at any moment!"

Zim scoffed. "It has taken us enough time to reach the Massive to assimilate five human worms. If she still lives, she is PAK-ed now."

Dib blanched and glanced anxiously out of the window. "Dock the ship. I'm going aboard." He said flatly.

--

The door opened and Jen immediately dropped backwards, closing her eyes and holding her breath. A sturdy green-eyed Irken approached and gave a smirk.

"Jenohda Experiment Nine. I know you are awake. Your PAK signals are running on our computer screens. You needn't be afraid. You will not be killed."

Jen tensed, and opened an eye. "Why do I get the feeling you are lying?" She asked casually, sitting upright with the help of her PAK legs. A streak of pain shot up her spine at the sudden movement- evidently her muscles hadn't relaxed enough for fluid movement just yet- but she hid the pain as best she could, pressing her lips together firmly so as not to make a sound.

The technician smiled thinly. "You cannot deny your PAK has already proven itself useful. In the last hour alone it has re-inflated your lungs, healed your six laser wounds, restored oxygen to your blood, and it is now in the process of healing your muscular structure. You were in free fall for nine seconds before Commander Tak picked you up. The damage was quite immense."

Jen blinked. Nine seconds? That was long enough to kill a human three times over!

Seeing her confusion, the Irken expanded. "Your Irken DNA kept you alive. Our species can survive approximately thirty seconds without a gas- and our biological structure allows us to withstand the gravitational anomalies of space for a limited time. Of course, your biology is a little different, now that you are neither species- which brings me to the point I came to make. Your life will be spared- because for now your interspecies nature is useful to the Irken Empire. However, that does not mean you aren't expendable. Behave well, and you will be granted freedom. Disobey, and the Tallests will personally see to it that your death is an excruciatingly painful one."

Jen eyed him warily. "I am a prisoner again?"

The Irken tipped his head and winced slightly, indicating that she was close but not quite at the right conclusion. "More a_ tool_ than prisoner." He produced a syringe filled with a thin blue substance. "Here. This will help your muscles."

And without further warning, he lunged forwards and plunged the injection into Jen's neck. She let out a whimper, which she immediately regretted, and flinched. After the initial shock, however, she realised that the drug _did_ have a positive effect on her muscles. A cool river ran through her, and immediately her muscles felt refreshed- as if a bucket of cold water had just been emptied out inside her. A peculiar sensation, but one she thoroughly enjoyed.

With that, the Irken left, returning back to the door he had just come through and, presumably, reaching an observation deck of some kind. Jen watched him go, waiting for the door to slide shut with a gentle click before hopped neatly off the table she was sitting on. She inspected it. It seemed to be half chair, half bed- with a neck support that dropped away and clicked into place. She grimaced.

Glancing towards what she guessed was the exit (her estimate based entirely on two assumptions: one, that there was an exit, and two, that the term 'exit' was defined by access to the Massive), she began to move towards it, staying on two human legs for the time being. She was about to inspect the door when a muffled yelp and the sound of laser-shot interrupted her concentration. She gulped. Whatever was going on in the observation room sounded violent.

For a moment, she wished she could sink into the floor- or, failing that, cling to the ceiling. Obediently, her PAK legs emerged and carried her to the safety of the roof. Not that the height would give her a particular advantage, but it would help to conceal her for a moment. She skittered somewhat clumsily to the observatory door, positioning herself over it so as to have the upper hand should the attacker enter what she had begun to think of as 'her' room.

She was correct. In a matter of moments, the door slid open and, after a second, an Irken entered, a laser gun at the ready. Jen made no hesitation to leap onto the intruder, pinning him to the ground. The Irken beneath her began to squirm- and then let out a remarkably odd yelp as she pushed her weight onto his back, squashing his lungs against the while luminous floor. Jen paused. She'd never heard such a _human_ sound from an Irken before.

The Irken turned under her, taking advantage of her small indecision. Then, in a very familiar voice, it hissed, "Jen! Gerroff me, I've got to get you out of here!"

Jen lowered the fist she had raised and peered into the Irken's brown eyes. "Dib?"

The Irken winked. "Zim hooked me up with this holographic stuff. It's neat, huh?" He shook himself before he followed a technology tangent and frowned. "The guards will know I've been in here. My PAK is a fake, and the bioscanners on board will pick up a non-PAKed life form." Dib waited a second for her to move. "Jen!"

She blinked, returning to the Massive. "Right. Yes." She moved off him and held out a hand, which he accepted gratefully. "Where are we going?" She asked as he led her into the observatory deck and through a second door.

Dib glanced left and right and then, without warning, slapped a pair of Irken hand-cuffs around her, the lasers sparking into life around her wrists. He gave a sheepish smile. "Y'know. In case someone asks questions. These are fake, though- they won't burn your wrists if you try to escape." The sound of footsteps came to them, and Dib frowned, tugging harshly on Jen's tied hands. "Come on, prisoner! Your worthless existence can continue in the eternal darkness of our containment chambers!" He declared, marching briskly along the corridor.

An Irken servant scurried by, tipping his head in acknowledgement of Dib and muttering an Irken greeting, which Dib chose to ignore, like so many other guards aboard the Massive. Once the area became silent again, Dib loosened his grip on Jen and muttered out of the side of his mouth, "Zim will meet us not far from here. I am his servant, if anyone asks, and you are to be punished for a misdeed by the Prime Invader himself."

Jen didn't smile, but neither did her frown deepen- her small indication of appreciation for their help. Well, Dib's help at any rate. "You trust Zim with this?" She enquired sceptically, keeping up with Dib as he marched purposefully around a corner and into another section of corridor.

"Of course. What do you think we are? Squabbling lovers?"

Jen blinked at that. "No, I just meant-"

"He's Irken, I know." Dib turned to her with a frown, an expression enhanced by his Irken features. "You haven't had such a good run with them. But I've known Zim for sixteen years. I can trust him with my life." For Jen's sake he resisted the urge to add 'Almost' to the end of his declaration.

Jen snorted. "I've known him for little more than a day. I doubt the same can be said for me."

Dib raised an eyebrow. "You make a good point," was all he said before they arrived at a large transparent airlock window. "In a moment, I'll cast my disguise, and you'll help me to open this window. We'll have three seconds to get out before the Massive's security systems pinpoint us, so I suggest you go first. I daresay I've already been discovered."

Jen nodded, already making to grip the window. "I assume my PAK will allow me to cope with the lack of atmosphere?"

Dib nodded. "And I have a measure of survival as well, thanks for asking." Jen rolled her eyes, but he said it with a straight face. "Now, on three, open the lock. One, two- three!"

They heaved the lock open, and without hesitation Dib roughly pushed Jen through the opening, following immediately after, his disguise evaporating and revealing his customary trenchcoat-shirt-and-denims attire. A small black band around his neck produced a large bubble that quickly wrapped to fit his head. Jen's PAK spurted a similar helmet for her as she exited the ship. He darted through the lock, slamming it shut after him, and began to run across the Massive.

Jen blinked. "We're not falling off." She commented lightly, following Dib's mad rush.

"Nope! The Massive- has a gravitational- mass which allows us to- use most outer surfaces- as stable ground. Handy- Irken technology- really." Dib explained between breaths- he ran much better if he didn't have to talk.

Jen seemed to get the hint and stayed silent, sprinting with Dib- who was, admittedly quite speedy- until they reached the docking station for cruisers. Already, Irken soldiers were pouring from inside the massive, their PAKs providing them with bubble masks to allow them to breathe.

Dib grimaced. "See that Vootian Over there?" He indicated a purple ship which, while it still possessed the domed appearance of an inferior Voot cruiser, was more streamlined and had visibly larger engines. "That's Zim's." The human glanced around as he ran. "Dammit, he should be _here_ by now!"

Jen smirked. "Told you we couldn't trust him. Got a plan B?" She said, unable to keep a hint of smugness from her otherwise strained voice.

Dib bit his tongue so as not to lash out a smart remark and instead turned his attention to Plan B. "We get to the cruiser and take off without Zim. He's safe here anyway. It just makes our escape a little more difficult. Nothing I can't handle though."

Jen rolled her eyes. Plan B seemed to consist of Plan A, minus Zim and add risk.

--

Zim stood to attention before his leaders. "My ship tracked the prisoner to the Massive." He explained. "Naturally, I am here to see if you require my assistance in… destroying her."

Tallest Purple sighed. "Actually, Zim, we no longer need to terminate her. Her PAK shows some serious anomalies- her human and Irk DNA mix-up has created a new species- she is neither one nor the other. Thus, the virus we designed to infect only _human_ PAKs will not work on her, and neither can we deactivate her PAK, as she is not Irken. Hence, we have a conundrum."

Tallest Red took over. "There is, fortunately, a bright side to this. Once our technicians have hacked her PAKs programming, she can act as a carrier for the human virus. It will not harm her- but her fellows will be sorely impacted. Genius, is it not?"

Zim nodded slowly. "And to ensure she obeys only us?"

"That is why we must reprogram her. Infuse her with an 'occupation' chip. Her PAK is currently purposeless- we intended to simply equip her with mechanics and terminate her. Obviously, that failed."

A siren interrupted Tallest Purple mid-speech. Red turned his head to look behind him at a large computer screen and gave a strangled cry. "We have a breach!" He yelled, reaching for the keyboard and immediately typing in commands. Within moments, Irken soldiers were alerted, exits were sealed and bioscanners increased their sensitivity to detect the escapee.

Zim took a breath. This was the risky part. He joined the lanky Irkens at the control station and surveyed the thermo imaging video feed hovering in the right corner of the screen. "My Tallests, allow me to recover the prisoner."

"Our guards can handle one…" Red replied, looking up from his typing momentarily and trailed off. Purple had joined him at the control centre, frantically issuing directions and orders to their troops through a hastily adorned headset. "There's another life form! An un-PAKed creature. Six foot, skinny build. Willowy. Location: West Wing, Zone 00-28. Paused at Air-lock Seven A-90."

The Invader froze. He had to get out of the Tallests' office as soon as possible- Dib needed him to be at the ship! "My Tallests, when the guards capture the prisoner, I would very much like to have her for questioning, if it is convenient to your plans. You mentioned the technology of this mirror Earth has increased- surely I can gleam some valuable information from her-"

Purple paused mid sentence, irritated by Zim's constant blithering in the background. "Silence, Invader!" Zim fell quite immediately. "Apprehend the other life form. Complete this successfully, and you may have the prisoner for questioning. But bear in mind, Zim, that while you intend to question her, she is your responsibility. Any mistakes and it will be your head on the line."

"I understand, my Tallest. For the Empire!"

And with a hastily thrown salute that was largely ignored by his leaders, Zim sprinted from the office and made his way to an airlock, his PAK legs extending to assist in his race. He was through the airlock in seconds and wasted no time scaling the outside of the Massive in the direction of the Cruiser Docks.

--

Dib whipped out his pistol, flicked a side panel to the second level and tapped the sensor at the top. "Stay behind me!" He warned, gripping Jen's wrist as she made to overtake him, her running made somewhat more awkward by the Irken bonds that still held her wrists. She slowed obediently, and Dib took careful aim, a determined furrow in his brow, and pulled the trigger. The nose of the gun extended and flattened itself as laser shot out in a wide ray. Dib angled the weapon towards the oncoming soldiers, blasting the first nine lines of soldiers into unconsciousness.

Beside him, Jen blinked. "You're not killing them?"

Dib turned to her. "Stunning 'em is fine for now. And Zim has to take full responsibility of whatever happens here because, technically, I don't exist."

He blasted through another troop and ran forwards towards the ship, dodging the retaliating lasers. He turned to shout back to Jen, who hadn't followed him forwards, instead avoiding laser fire by throwing herself to the floor, and was roughly tackled to the ground.

"Dib-thing! You must _never _take your eyes off your opponents in a fire fight! Are you_ trying_ to kill yourself?" Zim's angry voice came from above him, and the Irken slapped his arm irritably.

Dib squirmed free. "That's the second time I've been- hey, Zim! Where are you going?"

The Invader had snatched his gun, left him and hauled Jen up by her bicep. The Irken laser fire dropped as Zim held up a hand, marching Jen towards the soldiers.

Dib picked himself from the floor and marched to the Invader's side. "Zim, what are you-" but he paused. The Invaders eyes looked right through him. Dib looked down at his arm where Zim had slapped him. A small patch was fastened to his skin, and suddenly Dib understood.

"Zim. I'm here. To your right." He said loudly, causing the Irken's antennae to twitch in his direction. "What took you so long?"

"Tallests were being difficult. You needn't have worried. Now be quiet and don't for the love of Irk touch anything." Zim muttered, pulling Jen along with another rough jerk of his arm. She made an irritated 'ouch' sound, and looked towards Dib for clarification.

"This patch," he indicated his arm, "transmits a signal to Irken PAKs. It programs their brain to ignore me- I'm as good as invisible to them, so long as I don't make physical contact. Then I'd just give the game away."

Jen blinked. "I can still see you." She said calmly.

Zim turned to her. "You are not Irken." He said simply, silencing her queries. They approached the nearest conscious battalion and Zim drew himself up to his full height, which was quite impressive. The smaller Irkens snapped to attention, a look of awe on their faces. A commotion appeared at the back, and the ranks parted to allow a female Irken, slightly larger than her subordinates, but no taller than Zim's chest, to pass through.

"Prime Invader Zim." She said, turning her fierce purple gaze on him. Zim could not tell whether her voice held lust or loathing. Probably both- a loathing strong enough to warrant a lust for his imminent demise.

"Commander Tak." He replied, narrowing his eyes. Despite the years that had passed in which he had found himself working alongside the Commander, he still regarded her with a level of distaste. "The Prisoner is to accompany me for questioning."

Tak gazed at him, wondering for a moment whether to dispute. Zim caught the rebellious look in her eye.

"The Tallests have just ordered me here. If you wish to debate the matter, I suggest you take it up with them. Now, Tak, if you wouldn't mind, I have a ship to board."

"Very well." Tak conceded, but she didn't move immediately. "Just remember that until such times as this can be verified- _oh, yes, Zim,_ I will be verifying your request- you are not authorised to remove your vehicle from this area, Prime Invader or not."

Zim produced a small keypad from a concealed pocket in his uniform and absently opened the cruiser, allowing Dib to board while he made his parting remarks. "I am aware of that fact, yes. Should you wish to contact me; the channel is the same as it has always been."

Apparently satisfied, the Commander backed down, stepping aside to let her superior pass. As Jen walked by, Tak raised a threatening claw and drew it across her throat. Jen pulled a patronising expression, before she was roughly jerked into Zim's craft, bringing a smirk to Tak's face.

Dib watched from the entrance to the ship, scowling at Tak. He was sure she suspected something- he could see her eyes attempting to search the interior of the ship. Several times her gaze passed over him, but not once did it linger on his location. Obviously she was still grasping at straws.

All the same, it wasn't until his colleagues were inside, and the hatch closed that he breathed a sigh of relief and curled his fingers around the patch, hoping to pull it off like a band-aid. He paused for a second, and then ripped the patch from his arm.

"JESUS CHRIST!" He yelled, realising that he had not removed solely the patch, but also a good portion of his skin.

"Who?" Jen asked interestedly, looking up.

Zim turned towards him. He saw the blood beginning to dribble down Dib's arm and yelped. "You foolish boy! Now your inferior human immunes will take weeks to repair your pitiful fleshy body!" He approached the human, who gave him a sour look, and frowned. "You imbecile." Zim added, under his breath. He picked up the discarded patch from the floor and held it up, one claw pointed to a small switch at the side with the words 'click to release' engraved in Irken beside it. "Can you not _read_?" He demanded with exasperation.

Dib blinked. "It's in _Irken_." He said briefly.

"In which you have been fluent and literate for a number of years." Zim reminded him, ushering him towards the back of the craft.

Dib knelt and opened a cupboard, revealing a startling array of medical equipment. He selected a tube of green gel and a neat scroll of medical bandage and handed both to Zim, whose palms were held out impatiently. The alien flipped the lid of gel opened with a well practised claw and roughly yanked the human's arm towards him. "Must I do _everything_ around here?" He muttered, squirting a small amount of the gel- which looked suspiciously like ectoplasm- onto the human's outstretched arm. The alien began to unravel the bandages when a stream of static interrupted him. He threw the white wrappings at the human and darted with surprising grace to the cockpit of the craft.

"Yes?" He answered the incoming call impatiently.

Tak's voice filled the craft. "I have been authorised by the Tallest to search your ship. Should the prisoner be unguarded, or any _other_ being be found aboard your ship, I have full authority to terminate said beings, and remove the prisoner from your custody. Also, in the event that you do not comply with the search, the Tallest will encounter some extreme difficulty with overlooking the three Irken battalions that you and your prisoner have managed to eliminate."

Dib glanced towards Jen and gulped. She ran to him and seized the cloth bandage, wrapping it tightly around his arm in a manner that suggested she had carried out such a procedure multiple times before, knotting the end swiftly and glancing at her hands- now flecked with Dib's blood. She bit her lip. "That will have to do. Now hide! Quick!" She commanded, looking around quickly for something- anything with which to clean her hands. Finding nothing, she addressed Dib once more.

"Move!" She yelled, pushing him away. He glanced towards Zim briefly.

"Zim needs no help!" The alien shouted indignantly, scowling at him. Shrugging, Dib moved to the back of the craft, descending through a hatch and into the engine room. Zim turned his attention to his captive. "You. Half-breed. Experiment. Come here, I must bind you." Jen approached him without hesitation, holding out her hands.

"It's Jen, just so you know." She remarked sourly.

"Jen, yes." Zim was impatient. He looked at the false Irken handcuffs she wore and grimaced. Removing them and discarding them into the waste chute, he clamped the real-deal around her. Immediately she felt a surge of heat on her arms- though the restraints orbited her wrists as if repelled magnetically, she could tell that any sudden movements would cause her wrists to come into contact with the lasers- and this time they weren't just showy lights.

The Invader discovered the blood on her hands as he led her towards the far end of the craft, where a large metal chamber awaited. Obviously, even Zim's luxury cruiser was equipped for war. The alien scowled at her.

"The Dib will not like me for this." He said, and with one swift motion, he raised a sharp claw and sliced Jen's cheek open. Blood trickled out and she immediately brought her hands to her face, causing the cuffs to come into painful contact with her wrists. She let out a half-scream as the restraints burnt perfect lines into her arms.

With no further comment, Zim pushed her inside the chamber and slammed the barred door closed. He knew Tak would be thorough, and the only way to eliminate the stench of the Dib-blood was to cover it. Hopefully Mutant-Blood would do.

He raced back to the fore of the ship; his features set in a harsh, stern frown, and awaited the inevitable Notification of Property Search. A slit in the ship's controls belched out a transparent card with Irken scribbles printed over it. Zim tapped one of the symbols with a claw, and the text disappeared, to be replaced with a video image of Tak.

"Could you please open the door, Prime Invader? I am here to investigate your ship."

* * *

Comments/questions/suggestions/anything welcome (but if you have to flame, please flame nicely. I may write fiction with cusswords in, but I'd prefer if said cusswords weren't directed at me. Thanks)


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